2015年 - 预备自己的最后一年

2015 年过了 14 天，现在的我在做些什么？

这是我 2015 年最大的问题。

很遗憾的送走 2014，因为许多的计划还没完成，甚至有些还没开始。

2016 年若顺利将进入神学院进修，但现在的我已经预备到 7788 了吗？

遗憾和紧张如热锅上的蚂蚁的心情。

不再只希望，
为着呼召和梦想，
2015 加油～！

Why I can't tell the truth? Why I lied?

I get what I want, but not through Your way.

I seeked Your presence, but I walked my own way.

I ask favor from other, but I failed them.

What I had done? What I suppose to do? Why I lied in the first place?

I have no face to turn to You and all I failed.

Not the Saturday that I expecting

Yesterday, was a day I didn't expected to happen.. It was not the Saturday that I expecting from the early Monday..

My car broke down twice when I on my way back from work. To make think worse, my engine stopped function at the middle of Penang Bridge where huge traffic behind me.. I was panic and worried as I tried to wave my hand to tell the drivers behind me to pass by me and in the same time, fired up my engine.

After a few shot, my engine came to live, but I know it will not last long.. With prayful heart, I drove my car, hoping I can reach the nearest R&R to cool down my car. Thank God my car manged to stop itself after second malfunction at the R&R station. Stims and burned smell came from my car hood.

I try not to make it long, but eventually a car technician came with his bike and fixed my car. I had no choose but had him to fix it. Costed me RM 440, and I am currently broke..

It took 3 hours to fix my car, and I had to postpone the P&W practice that scheduled on 6.30pm.. It made me silent until now as my delay had screwed everything up.. I am very sorry..

Despite not having the Saturday that I was expecting, I met with a guy (Zul is his name) also having the same problem. His bike broke down just after crossing the bridge. We had a chat, and knew that he is also from SP. He is a boat and tanker technician working at Jetty.

I was not expecting for this, as I was planning to fix my car after my work, but it broke down half way before I can make it to the service shop.

I think the best is I remain silent, and hoping that somehow you can understand my situation and I need you to comfort me as I was panic and helpless during that time. Although I may look like "I am ok" externally, but in my deep heart I need you. I was sad and felt like alone when you replied my message.

I am not blaming you or other similar means to that. Just an simple expression.

I just hoping that my weekend can spend more time with you. That's why I always expecting weekend. Well, yesterday was the worst I had, so far maybe.

Anyway, night.. :)

你真的要走了...

原来发现我是不舍得你走。

但再过不久，我们就要分开一阵子了。

哎，不知如何才好。

没想到你那么快就要去新的地方了。

非常地担心你。

神啊，求祢自己开路。原谅孩子的小信，若是神祢开的路，求神来供应和保守。

爱你，亲爱的。真的不舍得你。

圣诞节 - 有一件礼物

想到来临的圣诞节，突然觉得有点伤感。圣诞节原本是一个值得开心欢情的节日，我却开心不起来。

昨天祷告会有提起圣诞节对你有什么意义。对我来说，圣诞节就好像雪中送炭的故事一样。圣诞节这期间，大多数的地方都寒冷，下雪，进入冬天的时候。这时候人们最需要的就是能够在这寒冷的天气取暖。想象一下，若在一个寒冷的晚上有杯热牛奶那多好，多幸福的事。圣诞节也是如此。

今天在大衛的城裏，為你們生了救主，就是主基督。你們要看見一個嬰孩，包著布，臥在馬槽裏，那就是記號了。

你在烦恼吗？

世上有许多的烦恼。往往我们每天都为着生活上的需要烦恼 - 衣食住行，关系，事业工作等等。

美国研究报道说，我们大部分的人都在烦恼的事情有40%是过去的事，50%是未来的事，只有10%是目前的事。但在这10%当中，有百分之九十八（98%）是未曾发生的，剩下的8%是可以轻易解决的。那证明说我们是不是多“烦”了哦？

英国班尼登健康协会（Benenden Healthcare Society）日前公布一项最新研究结果显示，一般成人每年至少花2小时在烦恼，每个月平均有6个晚上因为烦恼而失眠，一年至少有125天甩不掉心头的烦恼，平均一生花费5年的时间担心烦恼。

一生用了5年去烦恼那些未来不会发生的事情。哎，悲哀啊！的确，在这极大压力的时代，生活的需求渐渐的提高，导致许多的人不知不觉就陷在烦恼当中。

不过，若你停下脚步，看看你现在所有的，和以前你如何熬过来的，你会发现你其实过的都很好，无非烦恼。

中国人有句说道：人算不如天算。我们往往陷在烦恼当中是因为我们都在忙着算。算什么呢？算我们的未来。就正如刚才所说的，98%的烦恼都是未来的事情，所以我们算的都是那98%的事情。但有谁能未知未来呢？

可悲的是无人能未知自己的未来。我们可以有计划，但不是每个计划都按着我们的心意实现。世上的变数太多会影响我们完美的计划。到最后，我们还是因计划的改变或失败而烦恼。

当人算不能了，那你是否尝试天算呢？

人算？天算？哈哈~是我在算图~！

最后的30天~~

最后的30天在大学了。我真的真的很伤心，因为要离开充满回忆的地方，一个让我成长的地方，一个让我舍不得的地方。

最后的30天，我现在还在赶着final report。真的很伤心，因为这个学期大多数的时间都放在final report。现在还没赶完。Haiz~~~

希望最后的30天会有意义，不会让我后悔！加油啦！